Things are going well

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I have been meaning to write here for a while, but have not had much time. Sir uses the computer for school so he uses the computer most nights. I’ve also been playing a lot of video games lately, haha. Between my little one and watching my friend’s little one, I have very little free time during the day when I do have the opportunity to write. I usually try to take a nap or get something productive done or play the current game I am playing. I have a little time now so have decided to write up a little bit of an update.

As the title says, things are going well here. We need to get back into some blog reading but we are learning. We are growing. We have hit our fair share of speed bumps along the way, but getting over the first mountain of a hurdle makes the little ones not seem quite so bad. But it all feels so right. It’s definitely working and I never want to look back. Sometimes we automatically revert back to vanilla, but we are working on curbing that and figuring out new ways that work for us to stop us from doing so.

Some big things may be in store for this coming year, so my blog will probably continue to be fairly boring and uneventful. I think I’m not going to have much time to write. But just know that things for me are going super wonderful and I hope that they continue to go in that direction.

Happy 2015

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Happy New Year to everyone! The last few weeks have been quite the whirlwind of craziness. I had a birthday party for A on the 13th, that actually went very well. The girls had a great time. Unfortunately 3 cancelled last minute due to sickness, but the ones who did come had a great time. That night I had a girls’ night out with my sisters and cousin. We had a great time with that (it was the first night out with both my sisters, my youngest sister just turned 21 at the beginning of December). The following day I had developed a nasty stomach bug. I won’t get into details, but I was running a fever and extremely nauseous. I felt better the next day, but still felt like I was hit by a bus (I very rarely run a fever, and my body does not handle it well after the fact when I do). That Tuesday was A’s 6th birthday and we had been planning to go out to eat for her birthday. I decided that I was feeling well enough to go, so we did. Our trip was cut short though, because E started throwing up. We went home and she continued to heave every 15-20 minutes. We were finally able to get her to sleep, and luckily she slept all night. She got better and then A had one rough night, but she never got the fever and hers only lasted the one night.

After the sickness cleared out (and 500 loads of hot water laundry later), it was time to get everything ready for Christmas the following week. Christmas was busy but not overwhelming, thank goodness. We stayed at my parents a few days longer than that for my cousin’s wedding, A was one of the flower girls for that. Saturday was a circus before the wedding, but the rest of the day went by so well. We had a lot of fun that night, all of us.

This week has been filled with opening the boxes that contained the Christmas gifts, washing new clothes, and just trying to take things easy. We didn’t do much for New Year’s Eve, just stayed home and enjoyed a couple of drinks. A left for the rest of the week and the weekend to have Christmas with her paternal grandfather. Friday, E will be going to her grandparents house for a couple of days, so we get to have a kid-free couple of days.

It has been a long time since we have done any type of real scene. I’m ready for another one, and I’m hoping that this weekend we will be able to enjoy being able to do one. Obviously, it’s all my husband’s call as to whether we do or not but I have a feeling he’s got something up his sleeve! 😉 It’s very rare that we are kid-free and we have some new toys that we are pretty excited to use. 🙂 We really should make the most of the time that we will have, because here in January we are planning to start trying for baby #3, which we are both very very excited about.

I am looking forward to 2015 and what it will bring. I am excited about walking this journey of D/s with my husband and seeing where it takes us. I feel really good about this year. I feel like many discoveries, new adventures, and great things are in store for 2015. I sure hope that I’m right!

Doing Well

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I thought I would take some time while I had a few quiet minutes (and literally only a few minutes, the 3 month old I have started babysitting today is stirring, probably ready to wake up from his nap!) and write a little post.

Things have been going super well in the realm of our D/s. I did a lovely little Formal Acceptance and it went very well. We established a few basic rules, rituals, and protocols that benefit both of us as we move forward. It has been great for us. We are doing very well in building our foundation. We are communicating better than we ever have in the past. Talking about our progress, any missteps that have been taken, goals for future progress. I have even started a journal where I write my thoughts and feelings, things I can work on, and fantasies or things I would like to try sometime (Thanks Lt!). I feel like this is going to be a very excellent tool to have at our disposal and can really help us grow further.

I look forward to future posts where I may elaborate on some of the things that we have established, but baby has officially woken up now. Until next time!

Great things

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I am currently typing on my phone so I intend to keep this relatively short (I prefer typing blog posts on the computer, I think better with a keyboard).

A lot has happened since my last post. I did a “Formal Acceptance” about a week ago. It was formally accepted and we have established quite the solid base already. He wants this dynamic just as much as I do, that is the difference this time. It didn’t work before because he was unsure about all of it. Now that he is sure, everything we have done in the last few weeks feels so natural. Like it is really meant to be, that this dynamic truly is the right path for us.

I will write a post or two later that details a little bit more. But for now, I wanted to post an update that things are going very well. I am amazed with it all. The dynamic, my Sir stepping up into his own role as if he has been a Dominant for years. I am happy with where we are and look forward to where we are going.

That said, we are having a scene tomorrow night. I am anxious, excited, and a little impatient. Why won’t tomorrow night just get here already?! This is very big for me and such wonderful steps are being taken. I feel good right now and it feels good to write positive posts. With all the negativity all those months ago, I’m happy to say that I feel happy.

Big Step Forward

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Those of you that read my blog before my hiatus know that we struggled infinitely with making progress. We took more steps backward than we did forward. Around the time I stopped writing, I had felt like we only took steps back. I lost all hope in ever building on the relationship that I had dreamed about for years. Last night, real progress was made. We had a quite lengthy discussion about rules and rituals/protocols. We had a completely open and honest conversation about it, revealing to each other what we desired to do, what is going to work for us, what isn’t really going to work. We worked out a list of things that will now be done, a list that I may write about in a subsequent post. For now, I will say that I am very happy with what we agreed upon and I look forward to where this will go from here. Building a solid foundation is important and vital and I think that we have begun to do just that.

Long time gone

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I have been gone a seriously long time from this blog. I felt as though I had no reason to post anything here. Life had hit a plateau and there was just nothing left to say that I already hadn’t said.

I have been through the ringer a few times the months I’ve been absent from here. So many negative things have happened, mostly condensed within the last 3 weeks. Before that, I was just feeling the worst discontent I have ever felt in my life. I won’t get into the gruesome details of all of it. To be honest, I simply don’t really want to talk about it.

The last 3 weeks has included a miscarriage, the loss of my Granddad, and sick kids. Emotions were incredibly high for quite the extended period of time. It was so difficult to get through. Even now as I type this, I still feel the despair of it all.

Things have cooled down now on the emotional front, at least a little bit. In other aspects, things are heating up. Not long ago, the husband came to me and told me he wanted to spank me. For real. I agreed. Afterwards, he brought me onto his lap and we talked. He expressed that he wanted to pursue the D/s relationship that I had asked for a year ago. He wants to seriously pursue it. I was floored. I had given up on any notion that was going to happen. I truly never thought it would. We have been talking a lot lately. He even asked me to send him links to sites that would help him. I’m starting to think that this might actually be real this time.

Hiatus

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So I’ve been missing from the blogging world of WordPress for quite some time now. It hasn’t been because I haven’t wanted to write, but I felt like I was lacking in anything new. The mundane of being caught in a rut caused me to feel that I would just start sounding like a broken record if I continued to write about my life. There hasn’t been anything new to report. Even now there is nothing really all that new.

I did have a conversation with the husband last weekend about how I felt as though we didn’t even have a marriage. Because I do feel that way. I don’t feel like we are a married couple. I feel like we are friends with benefits that live together. While we still do have sex occasionally (meaning that it’ll happen a couple times a week, which is suppose it more than a good number of married couples I know, but with my intensely high sex drive it seems like so very little), it has become predictable and boring for me. I find myself to be completely unfulfilled 99% of the time. I’m not entirely sure what to do about this. I take care of things myself, and I get creative with myself in some areas, but that only goes so far. I don’t feel like him and I have the connection anymore. I continue to talk to him about how I feel, but the response is underwhelming. He said that it makes him feel sad that I feel this way, but that is about the only reaction that I got. It is a start. He used the word “sad” which indicates that he does have some modicum of emotions (almost all the time he seems completely devoid of emotions).

I don’t know where things are going to lead me from here. I’ll keep talking (which is an improvement for me, considering I tend to retreat into the recesses of my own mind and keep quiet about such things). I think I will likely just have to let life take me where it takes me. Roll with the punches so to speak.

I may have another hiatus from writing depending on where the flow of things is going to take me. I am still around, just don’t be surprised if you don’t see another written post from me for some time again.

I hope that everyone who read this is doing well and continues to do so!