In awe

My head has gone skyward and refuses to fully come back to earth, so I apologize ahead of time if any part of this doesn’t make any sense. As Husband and I travel down this D/s-M road, we have been taking very small steps. I know that He has had certain inhibitions about some things. They were understandable, but sometimes I had wondered if He was capable of getting past some of them. Reversing a lifetime of being taught a certain way of thinking is not easy (it took me a long time to come to terms with my own submissive self), so I tried to remain as patient as I could but I still couldn’t stop some of the doubt. Until last night.

I’m beginning to like Thursdays, it seems to be *the* night for us during the week. He’s been going to His friend’s house to watch the Thursday Night Football lately (I believe they call it “Man Night”). Whenever I get the opportunity, I will light a candle and kneel for Him in the bedroom when He gets home. A proper “welcome home” so to speak. I don’t get that opportunity when the kids are awake but when He gets back later at night and they are both in bed, that is my chance to do so. I’m sure that this feeds His Dom as much as it feeds my sub.

So He comes home and in the bedroom tells me I’m a good girl. Also that we got a baby present from another friend of His and that He wanted me to open it. I dress and go to the living room to open it. I set it down on the couch and when I reached for the tissue paper I had to bend over. *Smack* This is not unusual, He does this frequently when He is around me but I still stop what I am doing. *Smack, smack* Hmm, those were a bit harder. I finish opening the present and then turn back around. My ass still had a little bit of a sting and I proceeded to tell Him how I could still feel His hand on it and how I loved it. He kissed me and pointed to the bedroom. He told me that I was to remove my clothes except for my panties and wait for Him. I did as I was told, except I left my bra on too. We’d been leaving it on lately, so I figured that was a given. He walked in and complimented my appearance but asked me if my bra was panties. I answered no. “Then why is it still on?” The look on His face was…. I don’t know how to describe it, but it spoke straight between my legs. He told me that He thought I needed some correction, because “you want to be my good girl, don’t you?” My eyes were probably the size of baseballs. He sat down on the bed and indicated that I was to go over His knee.

He alternated between rubbing and smacking. He spoke to me the entire time. I can’t remember all of what He said, my head was in sort of a haze. I don’t even know how long that it lasted, but when He was finished He sat me down between His legs on my knees. He lifted my chin so that I was facing Him and He looked into my eyes for a few moments. I think it was the gauge me and where I was at. Needless to say, I was doing fantastic at this point. Then my mouth was put to use. He switched between letting me do it on my own and gripping my hair and doing it for me. My ass was still burning ever so deliciously. He then pulled me up and told me to lie face down on the bed. We tried a couple of new positions. I’ll try to describe the first one. He grabbed hold of my legs and pulled me back so my lower half wasn’t even on the bed and He wrapped my legs around His waist (as much as was possible being face down). This position didn’t really allow for deep penetration or hard pounding, but I would find out that this was just a warm up. Next He told me to remain face down but slide up so I was completely on the bed, but to keep my legs together. He straddled me and continued. This one offered an interesting angle. It hit some sort of sweet spot just perfectly. While in this position, there was lots of hair pulling and His hand found my throat a few times (He had only done this while simply kissing me before, He had never done it during sex. He didn’t block my air, but He did have a pretty good grip on it…). He growled in my ear, telling me that I was going to cum for Him. I didn’t yet at that point (though I was so damn close!) Finally, He flipped me over and really started pounding, hard. He took my hand and placed it between my legs with the instruction to rub myself. It didn’t take long and I did cum for Him, very intensely I might add. It was intense and I had stopped rubbing. He scolded me and told me that He did not tell me to stop, so I started again. I knew that subsequent ones were going to come fast. I asked if I could cum again and He told me that yes, He wanted me to cum as many times as I could. His pounding did not let up, and it was to the point where it hurt a bit on every thrust. I think I must have jumped a little on one, because He asked me if it hurt. When I told Him that yeah it hurt a little, He said “Oh, that’s too bad…” paired with a devilish smile. (We did establish a couple of safe words a number of months ago (though we have never done anything that would prompt use of them) and I had told Him in our last talk that if something ever were seriously wrong I would use them). I again lost track of the time, but when He had finished He began in with His fingers some more, of course sending me sailing once again.

Last night, I saw more of His Dom than I ever had in one session. For me, it was truly a wonderful sight to behold. As I melted into a wet puddle of sub, I was definitely in awe of Him.

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Thank you – Led Zeppelin

Our anniversary was last Sunday and I thought in honor of that I would post our wedding song. We had a live band at our wedding, but they did not cover Led Zeppelin (and this was the song that He absolutely wanted for our song, no negotiating). So Husband’s family surprised Him and a few of His family members played it for us, including His dad on the guitar. It was wonderful and so meaningful to Him (and to me).

Orgasm Control

Orgasm control was one of the things that we have talked about a little bit. I told Him that I wanted Him to have complete control over literally all things sexual including my orgasms. I knew it would take some work on both of our parts sometimes, but we hadn’t had a chance to discuss it much more. Well, Tuesday night was an interesting night. It started with Husband telling me He had a couple of errands to run and that when He got back I was to be dressed in a nighty that I picked up not too long ago. That was the first time He had ever instructed me on what to wear. Needless to say, I was beyond excited already. Later on He told me to go to the bedroom and wait for Him. He started playing with me, softly at first and gradually increasing in intensity. I was climbing higher and higher. He asked me if I was getting close (though I know it was blatantly obvious I was, but I think it was to get me to answer Him). Then He said “I know that you wouldn’t cum without permission now, would you?” Whoa… “No, Sir” “Good girl” That’s when He pulled out the little Bullet. My eyes widened, this will not make things any easier. The vibrating of that thing is relentless. He ran it down my arms and legs, teasing. Then He pressed it between my legs and I got close again. And He made me wait, held me there on the very edge. That edge is an interesting place to be when you’re at the mercy of someone else. When He finally told me to cum for Him I felt like I had literally exploded. He then brought me to the edge for a second time and told me to wait yet again. I thought the first time was difficult but that second time was even more difficult to stop it. That darn Bullet! I knew it was going to be trouble as soon as He pulled it out. Well, two times wasn’t enough for my greedy self and I felt myself building again. He sensed it too, “A third? Hmm, I don’t know about that” and pulling the Bullet away. Oh I was a mess at that point I begged and pleaded with Him more so than I ever had before. He told me that I have been a good girl, so He will allow the third. Wow, that was amazing. But we weren’t done yet, “Okay, now I want that beautiful mouth of yours on my cock.”

Inspection

The weather in my little area of the world is finally starting to cool down. It’s October and the weather has been unusually warm. I’m somewhat disappointed because I absolutely love fall weather (despite having some allergies to whatever floats through the air this time of year). 40s-50s are my ideal temperature range, 50s are the forecasted temperatures for the coming week. That makes me a happy girl.

As far as my own world, life is good. Things seemed to have significantly settled down and a new “usual” routine is being established. E is only a few days shy of a month old, so she isn’t on a specific schedule though there is no real rush to establish a set in stone schedule. While nothing is set in stone, I can pretty much count on her nights to be pretty close to consistent. It’s been wonderful for Husband and I to get the all important us time.

Which leads me to the title of my post. He had gone to watch the football game at His friend’s house again this week. He got home relatively early and shortly after He came home He wrapped His arms around me from behind. As His hands found there way down to between my legs He asked how things were doing there. I told Him I thought things were actually very well from what I can tell. “Hmm, well I think that you are due for an inspection.” Wait, what?! I immediately turned to face Him and for a split second I know that I a questioning look on my face. Why on earth would He want to see it?! Because it’s His… was my next thought. So instead of following my initial reaction and questioning Him, I asked where and how He would like me. He told me and I immediately complied without hesitation. I have been naked in front of Him hundreds of times, but this felt different. I felt extremely exposed. He looked for what seemed like an eternity (though it was probably no more than a minute or two). He told me that things did look good. Then He reminded me that I belonged to Him and He began to touch very softly. He asked me a number of times if all was still well. His tenderness and caring was really moving. I won’t get into too much more detail than that, but He told me that He wanted to make me cum though I was to immediately tell Him if anything felt wrong or hurt. The result was my first orgasm in weeks and though we didn’t do anything penetrative (despite the fact that we both really wanted to, He decided that we are going to still err on the side of caution for now) it was still amazing. “Good girl.” *sigh*

Changes in Him

The last two weeks have been a time of learning for everyone in our house, bringing a newborn home tends to do that. In my eyes, we are all doing a wonderful job. I’m especially proud of my Husband. I know I’ve written this before but A was 11 months old when He came into our lives, so she was far from the newborn stage. Not only did I have A, but I grew up with a constant flow of babies (2 younger sisters and 24 younger cousins made for a new baby or two a year for a number of years). Husband did not have that kind of thing growing up. I had wondered how He was going to react after E was born. The day she was born (which was an absolutely crazy experience in and of itself! I will spare you those details though…), He did not hesitate in the slightest. He took her for the first time with complete confidence, if He had any fear at all He hid it completely well.

One thing that concerned me a little bit was the “us” factor. I knew how much work a newborn could be and that sometimes they can be overwhelmingly demanding. I had worried that not only our D/s but also our relationship as a whole was going to be put completely on the back burner. I thought that maybe we would be taking more steps back in our D/s than steps forward. It turns out that I really had worried for nothing. Instead of taking steps back, we are continuing well along our path. We haven’t really introduced anything new, however I still feel like we have made progress. That confidence that He had in the delivery room has not left Him. He seems to have higher confidence in general. With His increased confidence, He seems to have found a bit more of His “Dom”. I don’t know exactly how to explain the change. It’s something that I can feel almost coming off of Him when He is in the room. I can still feel it when I think about Him, but it’s stronger with His physical presence.

Last night, for example, was incredible. The last few days I haven’t really been myself and again I clammed up when I should have just talked about it (why on earth do I do that?! It irritates me almost as much as it irritates Him….). Well, last night we were on the couch watching TV and He grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me close to Him. One thing led to another and before I knew it was giving Him a hand job. Suddenly, He said that He knew I liked it but He wanted to know specifically what I liked about it. “Everything” was not a satisfactory answer so I listed a few things ending with how I like how He tastes. That’s what earned me a place on my knees in front of Him. I thoroughly enjoy being in that place, it feels so right and that it’s MY place. This time was different, He spoke to me almost the entire time. Encouraging words, I knew without a doubt just how much I was pleasing Him which added fuel to my own fire. He gripped my hair and moved my head (still working on that gag reflex, not completely there yet but I am making progress). When He had finished He leaned forward and told me what a good girl I was (I melted). Then He (very tenderly) ran His hand between my legs, though I still had my pants on, and said that it wasn’t fair. I had simply said that it didn’t have to be fair, but I misinterpreted the meaning behind His words. I had assumed He was talking about reciprocation but I was wrong, though I didn’t mind being wrong. He had said that it wasn’t fair that He couldn’t take what was His yet (a delicious little feeling swept through me at these words). Later on, He had said that as soon as we get the okay from the doctor, He’s going to take it over and over again (my heart nearly stopped on the spot). Needless to say, I came back to myself quite quickly (I still got a few nice strong spanks, stronger than He’s done it before, that also helped bring me back too).

I know that it doesn’t seem like very much, and it also seems like it’s similar to other situations that I have written about. To me, this is huge. The intensity of this was quite a bit higher than some previous experiences that we have had together. I think that the future looks even better than it did before and that slowly we will continue to increase that intensity. It makes me more excited to see where our journey continues to take us. (And the next 3.5 weeks can go ahead and disappear for me, I’d be alright with that!)