www.LittleKaninchen.com (PLEASE RE_FOLLOW) Little Kaninchen has moved…

The Bedroom Submissive

Fellow readers and followers,

LKLate last night we changed bedroom submissive’s hosting provider and it’s URL, website address, to littlekaninchen.com.  The old address, bedroomsubmissive.com will still function as before but will direct you to her new website.  During the transition away from wordpress we incurred an expected loss of statistics and unfortunately a total loss of all of her followers.  Many must know this already because many have re-followed LK since we made the change last night.

 

If you would like to stay in touch with LK please visit her at her new web addresswww.littlekaninchen.com and re-follow her!

For those of you that would like to help us rejoin your community I would ask you to please re-blog this post.

Sincerely,

Mr. Fox

 

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I am His

I had started working on a post about feeling out of sorts. I have been feeling that way since Monday because of a stupid mistake that I made that day (I seriously am really very hard on myself about a lot of things, even when they are small). However, as I was writing it I started to feel worse and not better. So I promptly deleted that post and went onto Pinterest and started just looking around. I don’t look around there often, but when I do I can usually find some interesting things. In my browsing, I saw a picture that I’m sure many have reposted to many different sites. The title at the top was “WHO IS she?” and at the bottom says “she IS HIS.” In between it spoke of aching, yearning, burning. It really spoke to me today. This afternoon before my Husband had to go to work I was lying on the couch with my head in His lap. I was already starting to feel better just from that, but then He gently placed His hand on my neck. Since A was in the room with us, it wasn’t anything obvious or rough. Just a simple placing of His hand that was just enough that I could feel Him there, but not enough that it looked bad. I’m not sure if He did it on purpose or not, but either way I realized that I felt better. I have been His for a long time now, but that was one of those moments where I really felt it. I really needed that today. I am His.

Time goes on…

It’s been a while since I last wrote on my own blog. I have been quite active everywhere else, I just haven’t had a whole lot to write about in the last week. The three of us went to the baseball game on Saturday and had a lot of fun. My Husband’s boss gave Him some really good tickets and as luck would have it, He got 3 of them. We all had a really good time while we were there, even A was really well behaved and we stayed for the entire game (though she’s normally not too bad at the games, we usually have to leave by the 8th inning because she gets restless).

Tuesday night we went to my in-laws farm for their “Customer Appreciation” dinner. My Husband’s cousin is a caterer and his company catered the event. They do it every year and my Husband and His brothers (and a few other family members) always go. Mostly for the Prime Rib. Haha. It was quite delicious though. Almost as delicious as the way my Husband got touchy feely with me. Quick grabs under the table. A few small swats to my rear when no one was looking. Even such things as putting His arm around me. Small things, but they did wonders to my mindset. Later that night, we had left A to stay there for the rest of the week so we were home alone. He is trying to catch me up on Breaking Bad (we’re halfway through Season 3 now), so He told me to get it started and we would watch an episode or two. We got a little distracted during the first episode, but I was glad for it (we tried a new position that was tiring for me, but I loved it!).

Without A here, the last few days I have been home alone with nothing but my thoughts. My brain takes me to all sorts of places and I have been drifting in a sea of thought with barely a life jacket to keep me afloat. I think it’s time for another deep talk. I’m not sure why, but it still feels like a major hurdle to open up my thoughts and feelings. I put up walls and withdraw. I know that this is a defense mechanism that I developed over years of being bullied and being rejected. This is going to be something that I need to work on and will need help pushing past. Despite opening up about my thoughts feeling like a giant hurdle, just having had that first talk helps lower the height of the hurdle just a little bit. Hopefully over time, they won’t be hurdles anymore and I can just open myself up without reservation. This last paragraph really is nothing new. I wrote about this very same thing not long ago. However, I thought it was important to write that the hurdle doesn’t seem quite as daunting as it did last time and to me that is pretty significant.

Mind Clearing

It’s been a while since I’ve posted much of anything besides the video the other day. With a little bit of extra time today between the chores I need to get done I thought I would write a little bit today.

Ever since our talk a few weeks ago, overall not too much has changed. I wasn’t expecting major changes overnight, so that isn’t much of a surprise. However, now that I’ve put myself out there, I’ve felt much better. I feel like our journey is back on a track to progression versus feeling stagnant. While not too much has changed, there have been a few seemingly small things that have made a big difference to me. For example, the sound barrier has started breaking down. He talks to me a lot more than He did before, and that is huge for maintaining my mindset. The other night, I was thoroughly enjoying giving Him a blow job (Oh, I so love the taste of Him…) and He was telling me how good I was doing and how good that it felt. That was some major and almost unbelievable fuel to my fire. When He told me He was going to cum, I think I was completely consumed by my desire to really please Him at that point. He did (and mmm, the taste of that too, geez, I’m getting wet thinking about it…) and I felt so incredible for doing such a service for Him. He helped me to stand and said it was time for a shower. We went to the bathroom and I started the water. As I stood back up He reached for me and pulled me to Him in what I thought was a hug. Nope. He brought me close to Him and right when I was enjoying the full skin-to-skin feeling He reached down and started caressing between my legs. I could feel His purpose and I tightened my arms around His neck for extra stability and widened my stance for Him to have better access. It did not take long for the first wave of orgasm to overcome me. He did not stop there. He continued His exploring and at least 3 more overcame me. He then motioned for me to get into the shower and I immediately complied. Once we were both in, He grabbed a hold of me again and continued His motions. I think I had two more orgasms before He let go and (I can’t remember His exact words) He told me to wash up. We had a lovely shower (He let me wash Him, which I love doing for Him) together.
I wanted to share this specific experience because of it’s profound effect it had on me. My mind is constantly filled with hundreds of thoughts that never seem go away. It’s always in a constant state of motion. In my conscious memory I have not been able to completely empty my head of multiple thoughts at once. When He started telling me how good of a job I was doing while I was enjoying His cock in my mouth, my mind started to clear. The more He talked to me, the less I thought about besides Him. By the time He reached His climax almost all thoughts were cleared from my head besides Him. When He began to touch and explore me, literally all the thoughts that invade my head were gone. The only thing left in my mind was Him. Even when we were done with our shower, I felt as though I was floating. My mind felt incredibly at peace and my intense love for Him was overflowing in my submissive afterglow. While the thoughts eventually came trickling back into my mind, the experience will not be soon forgotten.

Religion and Submission

Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit? If not, are you familiar
with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of
submission or dissimilar?

Recently, there was a discussion among some fellow bloggers about religion/faith and I thought this would be a good time to answer this question while I was thinking about my faith and it’s impact on my life.

The simple answer to this question is yes, but I think that it is a bit more complicated than just a simple answer.

A little of my background:

I grew up going to church. I went to a parochial high school and college. I feel like I have a firm foundation in my faith, though I know that I am not anywhere near being perfect in my faith. We attend church (going to a physical church is not required to have faith and be a believer in my opinion, I just personally enjoy going to church and luckily we found one that fits us perfectly so we recently became members there). My Husband and I were married in the church I grew up attending. Our wedding verses were 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 –

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

As a part of my wedding vows I promised to submit to Him. The Bible states that the husband is the head of the wife and the wife should submit to her husband (Ephesians 5 is probably the biggest example that I can think of, but the concept it also found in other books). 

Then I look at my own personal submissive self. I am submissive straight to my inner core. I have a very high desire to submit to and please my Husband. There are many out there who struggle with this concept or just deny it completely (like I tried to deny my submissive nature for so long). So for me, the decision to submit does have a religious bearing, but the fact that I have that inherent submissive nature helps with that decision significantly in my opinion.

Growth

For a very long time now I have been wanting to really open up to my Husband about my submissive self. We had a talk approximately 8 months or so ago about my desire for Him to be the head of our household and for Him to take charge in the bedroom. There really were no details discussed from that point. We did have progress over those months (and I did my very best to be as patient as possible, because I did know for this to be real we had to take things at His pace not mine). However, I felt over the last couple months that we have both felt a little lost. I realized that I wasn’t letting Him fully in on my inner submissive workings. Being new at this, He had no idea where to go and I had no idea how to help Him without leading Him. I started thinking a lot about things and everything began to build up inside me. I knew things were going to blow up if I didn’t do something about it. On Monday night as we were going to bed I worked up the courage and asked Him if tomorrow (Tuesday) we could talk about things. He said we would and then we went to sleep. A few weeks ago I had sent Him some links to a site that were helpful to me when I was discovering myself and thought they could help Him significantly too. He didn’t read them…. until last night…..
We were watching our baseball team play on TV (kind of, they were winning 7-0 so we weren’t too worried about a loss) and He was reading something on His phone. I had assumed He was doing more research for His fantasy football leagues that will soon be having their drafts. I was waiting until He was done so that we could talk without distraction. The more time that passed, the more antsy and nervous I was becoming. I actually found myself starting to feel put out because whatever was on His phone seemed to be more important than me….
Eventually, He put down His phone and looked at me. He put His fingers under my chin and lifted so I looked back up at Him (I was seated on the floor in front of Him, this has become a norm for us lately and I have loved it). He said “Are you ready now?” My answer was “Yes and No.” He asked me to explain the no part and I just said that my brain was a jumbled mess and I don’t know where to begin. He then told me what He had been reading on His phone, it was all the links that I sent Him a few weeks ago! I almost broke into tears right then (“He knows how much this means to me!” was the thought going through my head). I had sent Him 7 different links and He read them all. So, as afraid as I was to completely bare the entirety of myself, I picked a starting off point and began talking. I felt like it was coming out as verbal vomit, but I still think I was making some sense. While I was talking He listened intently to everything that I had to say. I don’t think that I could describe the look in His eyes as I talked and talked, but it was a heartwarming sight. I unloaded almost everything that I had been building up in my brain over the last weeks. Looking back, there were a few things that I left out (not on purpose, just things that slipped momentarily from my mind until it had gotten too late) and some things that I think came across as unclear. I’m thinking that I will try to talk about those things a little bit tonight yet if I can.
As far as the details of what I said, most of it was just about my personal view on my own submission, what I need and desire, and the D/s-M lifestyle. I also made it a point to explain to Him that I am still me, I’m still the same person (I really think this may have possibly worried Him a little bit). My submissiveness is just a part of who I am, one that I stifled and tried for so long to deny. I also wanted Him to know that the D/s-M lifestyle is personalized to us. There are guidelines and rules and examples out there, but we don’t have to perfectly adhere to someone else’s relationship or rules. We can use them to guide us into finding what works for us, however, if we find something isn’t working for us then we change it. No one is judging us, this is OUR relationship.
I am so glad that I finally jumped this hurdle and was able to open up and talk about all this with Him. I did not get the negative reaction that I was afraid I was going to get. We will still move at His pace. There will still be ups and downs. Though now I feel like we aren’t as lost as before and have a better idea of where to go. This path and journey that we are on feels even more right!

*Happy Dance*