I See Fire – Peter Hollens

A cover of the Ed Sheeran song for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Oh, misty eye of the mountain below
Keep careful watch of my brothers’ souls
And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke
Keep watching over Durin’s sons

If this is to end in fire
Then we should all burn together
Watch the flames climb high into the night
Calling our father hold stand by and we will
Watch the flames burn over on
The mountain side

And if we should die tonight
We should all die together
Raise a glass of wine for the last time
Calling out father
Prepare as we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on
The mountain side

Desolation comes upon the sky

Now I see fire
Inside the mountain
I see fire
Burning the trees
And I see fire
Hollowing souls
I see fire
Blood in the breeze
And I hope that you remember me

Oh, should my people fall in
Surely I’ll do the same
Come finding mountain holes
We got too close to the flame
Calling out father
Hold fast and we will
Watch the flames burn auburn on
The mountain side

Desolation comes upon the sky

Now I see fire
Inside the mountains
I see fire
Burning the trees
And I see fire
Hollowing souls
I see fire
Blood in the breeze
And I hope that you remember me

And if the night is burning
I will cover my eyes
For if the dark returns then
My brothers will die
And as the sky’s falling down
It crashed into this lonely town
And with that shadow upon the ground
I hear my people screaming out

And I see fire
Inside the mountains
I see fire
Burning the trees
I see fire
Hollowing souls
I see fire
Blood in the breeze

I see fire (fire)
Oh, you know I saw a city burning out
And I see fire (fire)
Feel the heat upon my skin
And I see fire (fire)
Uhhhhhhhhh
And I see fire
Burn over on the mountain side

I’m still here

Though it doesn’t really seem like it, I am still here. I’ve been keeping up on everyone’s lovely blogs, but just haven’t really had the ambition to write too much. There really hasn’t been too much interesting stuff to write about lately either. My life has been consisting of kids, laundry, cleaning, and Christmas preparation. This weekend I plan to tackle A’s playroom and hopefully box up a whole bunch of toys. Either put them in storage or give them to Goodwill or something. She will be getting a ton of new things over Christmas and there is no room left for anything. I got through both of the girls’ dressers and cleaned out clothes that were too small. E’s didn’t take too much work, since all I needed to do was box up the “newborn” sized clothes. She’s 3 months old and finally fitting into 0-3 clothes. She’s chunking out, especially in her face, but she still seems so small. I suppose that A was always small too, so I think I just have another teeny baby.

It was A’s 5th birthday yesterday. I can hardly believe that she’s 5 already! She’ll start kindergarten next year. Crazy. We didn’t do anything big. I have never done a big birthday party for her, it would have always been mostly adults. Next year when she’s in kindergarten I will probably have a party for her and she can invite all her friends if she wants. I did bake her a cake though. We didn’t have cake on her 4th birthday and she hasn’t let me forget it all year. Needless to say I will never not have a cake for her again. I figure that one of her birthdays when she gets too old for a formal birthday cake, I will get her that 4th birthday cake. So she got McDonald’s for supper (as per her request), she blew out her candles, we ate cake, and she opened the couple presents we had for her. Just a simple little thing with just the 3 of us. She’ll celebrate her birthday again over Christmas when we get together with the families.

As for me, I’m hanging in there. The days themselves are shorter, but my days feel incredibly long. Unfortunately, I feel an impending bout of disordered eating. Luckily, I’m able to identify the fact that it’s coming and I can be actively aware of it. Over the years, I’ve had random bouts with it. Normally they don’t last super long. The longest bout I had was about a year and half. The usual time frame is a month or two and then I can talk myself down and be okay again. I focus on avoiding the biggest triggers and buy my groceries a bit different. I feel lucky that I can successfully stop myself from going full blown. It will be alright. I will be alright.

I’m also lucky in that I’ve got a baby that is 3 months old and she’s slept through the night since 2 months old. She’s starting to sleep longer stretches at night too. The last weeks she’s been sleeping 10-12 hours a night. Very similar to A when she was a baby. She slept 12 hours a night, every night, by 2.5-3 months old. This has been both good and bad for me. Good that she sleeps so well at night and I get more “adult” time without dealing with kids. Bad that I get more “adult” time without dealing with kids. It’s bad because I tend to stay up way too late all the time because I’m enjoying the time. I don’t sleep well in the first place, but I just stay up far too late than is reasonable. It hasn’t caught up to me yet, but one of these days I’m sure it will!

I’m sorry this is such a boring post. D/s wise, we are still very stagnant. I’m going a little crazy from it, but I’m doing the best I can to cope with it. I have tried to talk about it and have voiced my concerns. We haven’t been fighting or arguing at all (we never do in the first place) but still my mind is just all jumbled up. We’ll see what happens once the holidays are over. Hopefully we can get back on track and I can have some sexy fun to write about on here.

Stay warm these winter days!

 

Reset

I enjoy going bowling. Immensely. While I do enjoy it, I am definitely not very good at it. My goal whenever I play is to break 100. Sadly, the last time I went, I hit 99. That same outing we had lots if trouble with our lane. Most bowling alleys have a little button near the ball return, the reset button. When the lane gets stuck, you can push this button and it clears the pins and resets the lane.

Sometimes I wish I could have a reset button. When I feel stuck I could just push the button and I would reset. When I feel lost, it help me find my way. When I feel off, it can center me again. 

Unfortunately, so such button exists. There is no easy way. I’ll need to learn all the ways I can achieve a “reset” the hard way. Though honestly, sometimes the hard learned lessons in life are the best lessons. They are the ones not easily forgotten. One day I’ll figure it out. I would love to have a reset button, but I will make do without and I’ll be better for it.