So I’ve been missing from the blogging world of WordPress for quite some time now. It hasn’t been because I haven’t wanted to write, but I felt like I was lacking in anything new. The mundane of being caught in a rut caused me to feel that I would just start sounding like a broken record if I continued to write about my life. There hasn’t been anything new to report. Even now there is nothing really all that new.
I did have a conversation with the husband last weekend about how I felt as though we didn’t even have a marriage. Because I do feel that way. I don’t feel like we are a married couple. I feel like we are friends with benefits that live together. While we still do have sex occasionally (meaning that it’ll happen a couple times a week, which is suppose it more than a good number of married couples I know, but with my intensely high sex drive it seems like so very little), it has become predictable and boring for me. I find myself to be completely unfulfilled 99% of the time. I’m not entirely sure what to do about this. I take care of things myself, and I get creative with myself in some areas, but that only goes so far. I don’t feel like him and I have the connection anymore. I continue to talk to him about how I feel, but the response is underwhelming. He said that it makes him feel sad that I feel this way, but that is about the only reaction that I got. It is a start. He used the word “sad” which indicates that he does have some modicum of emotions (almost all the time he seems completely devoid of emotions).
I don’t know where things are going to lead me from here. I’ll keep talking (which is an improvement for me, considering I tend to retreat into the recesses of my own mind and keep quiet about such things). I think I will likely just have to let life take me where it takes me. Roll with the punches so to speak.
I may have another hiatus from writing depending on where the flow of things is going to take me. I am still around, just don’t be surprised if you don’t see another written post from me for some time again.
I hope that everyone who read this is doing well and continues to do so!