I am currently typing on my phone so I intend to keep this relatively short (I prefer typing blog posts on the computer, I think better with a keyboard).
A lot has happened since my last post. I did a “Formal Acceptance” about a week ago. It was formally accepted and we have established quite the solid base already. He wants this dynamic just as much as I do, that is the difference this time. It didn’t work before because he was unsure about all of it. Now that he is sure, everything we have done in the last few weeks feels so natural. Like it is really meant to be, that this dynamic truly is the right path for us.
I will write a post or two later that details a little bit more. But for now, I wanted to post an update that things are going very well. I am amazed with it all. The dynamic, my Sir stepping up into his own role as if he has been a Dominant for years. I am happy with where we are and look forward to where we are going.
That said, we are having a scene tomorrow night. I am anxious, excited, and a little impatient. Why won’t tomorrow night just get here already?! This is very big for me and such wonderful steps are being taken. I feel good right now and it feels good to write positive posts. With all the negativity all those months ago, I’m happy to say that I feel happy.
Those of you that read my blog before my hiatus know that we struggled infinitely with making progress. We took more steps backward than we did forward. Around the time I stopped writing, I had felt like we only took steps back. I lost all hope in ever building on the relationship that I had dreamed about for years. Last night, real progress was made. We had a quite lengthy discussion about rules and rituals/protocols. We had a completely open and honest conversation about it, revealing to each other what we desired to do, what is going to work for us, what isn’t really going to work. We worked out a list of things that will now be done, a list that I may write about in a subsequent post. For now, I will say that I am very happy with what we agreed upon and I look forward to where this will go from here. Building a solid foundation is important and vital and I think that we have begun to do just that.
I have been gone a seriously long time from this blog. I felt as though I had no reason to post anything here. Life had hit a plateau and there was just nothing left to say that I already hadn’t said.
I have been through the ringer a few times the months I’ve been absent from here. So many negative things have happened, mostly condensed within the last 3 weeks. Before that, I was just feeling the worst discontent I have ever felt in my life. I won’t get into the gruesome details of all of it. To be honest, I simply don’t really want to talk about it.
The last 3 weeks has included a miscarriage, the loss of my Granddad, and sick kids. Emotions were incredibly high for quite the extended period of time. It was so difficult to get through. Even now as I type this, I still feel the despair of it all.
Things have cooled down now on the emotional front, at least a little bit. In other aspects, things are heating up. Not long ago, the husband came to me and told me he wanted to spank me. For real. I agreed. Afterwards, he brought me onto his lap and we talked. He expressed that he wanted to pursue the D/s relationship that I had asked for a year ago. He wants to seriously pursue it. I was floored. I had given up on any notion that was going to happen. I truly never thought it would. We have been talking a lot lately. He even asked me to send him links to sites that would help him. I’m starting to think that this might actually be real this time.