I’m still here

Though it doesn’t really seem like it, I am still here. I’ve been keeping up on everyone’s lovely blogs, but just haven’t really had the ambition to write too much. There really hasn’t been too much interesting stuff to write about lately either. My life has been consisting of kids, laundry, cleaning, and Christmas preparation. This weekend I plan to tackle A’s playroom and hopefully box up a whole bunch of toys. Either put them in storage or give them to Goodwill or something. She will be getting a ton of new things over Christmas and there is no room left for anything. I got through both of the girls’ dressers and cleaned out clothes that were too small. E’s didn’t take too much work, since all I needed to do was box up the “newborn” sized clothes. She’s 3 months old and finally fitting into 0-3 clothes. She’s chunking out, especially in her face, but she still seems so small. I suppose that A was always small too, so I think I just have another teeny baby.

It was A’s 5th birthday yesterday. I can hardly believe that she’s 5 already! She’ll start kindergarten next year. Crazy. We didn’t do anything big. I have never done a big birthday party for her, it would have always been mostly adults. Next year when she’s in kindergarten I will probably have a party for her and she can invite all her friends if she wants. I did bake her a cake though. We didn’t have cake on her 4th birthday and she hasn’t let me forget it all year. Needless to say I will never not have a cake for her again. I figure that one of her birthdays when she gets too old for a formal birthday cake, I will get her that 4th birthday cake. So she got McDonald’s for supper (as per her request), she blew out her candles, we ate cake, and she opened the couple presents we had for her. Just a simple little thing with just the 3 of us. She’ll celebrate her birthday again over Christmas when we get together with the families.

As for me, I’m hanging in there. The days themselves are shorter, but my days feel incredibly long. Unfortunately, I feel an impending bout of disordered eating. Luckily, I’m able to identify the fact that it’s coming and I can be actively aware of it. Over the years, I’ve had random bouts with it. Normally they don’t last super long. The longest bout I had was about a year and half. The usual time frame is a month or two and then I can talk myself down and be okay again. I focus on avoiding the biggest triggers and buy my groceries a bit different. I feel lucky that I can successfully stop myself from going full blown. It will be alright. I will be alright.

I’m also lucky in that I’ve got a baby that is 3 months old and she’s slept through the night since 2 months old. She’s starting to sleep longer stretches at night too. The last weeks she’s been sleeping 10-12 hours a night. Very similar to A when she was a baby. She slept 12 hours a night, every night, by 2.5-3 months old. This has been both good and bad for me. Good that she sleeps so well at night and I get more “adult” time without dealing with kids. Bad that I get more “adult” time without dealing with kids. It’s bad because I tend to stay up way too late all the time because I’m enjoying the time. I don’t sleep well in the first place, but I just stay up far too late than is reasonable. It hasn’t caught up to me yet, but one of these days I’m sure it will!

I’m sorry this is such a boring post. D/s wise, we are still very stagnant. I’m going a little crazy from it, but I’m doing the best I can to cope with it. I have tried to talk about it and have voiced my concerns. We haven’t been fighting or arguing at all (we never do in the first place) but still my mind is just all jumbled up. We’ll see what happens once the holidays are over. Hopefully we can get back on track and I can have some sexy fun to write about on here.

Stay warm these winter days!



5 thoughts on “I’m still here

  1. Not boring at all-just the life we all live. It is nice to know that we all live in the same world. 🙂 and are walking the same road. Hang in there. Merry Christmas enjoy the Sir and the little ones .

  2. Hello! Sorry I haven’t been by in a long time…too long…sorry for that. We all have those bouts in life that seem to just take over and you just have to ride it out. We just went through a trgedy and it seems everything got tested. We came out of it just fine. Just keep communicating and sharing your heart. Have a very Merry Christmas!

    • I haven’t been writing much lately. This rut we seem to have fallen into hasn’t given me too much interesting stuff to write about really. I’m riding as best I can. Thank you for your encouraging words 🙂 I hope you have a very Merry Christmas too!

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