“All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours.” -Robert Browning
My Husband and I don’t have what you would call a typical love story romance. I was 19 and He was a few years older. I was currently in a
non-relationship with His roommate’s friend. We stayed at their place occasionally over weekends. I actually vividly remember the very first time that I met Him. He was playing Guitar Hero and totally rocking the “expert” setting. Silly as it is, I loved watching Him play that game. Even after the game was done, there was something about Him that caused an intense attraction deep inside my heart. He was mild mannered and quiet. He was usually the reserved one that most people would forget was even in the room. I was never one of those people. Something about Him just drew me in, I think that’s when I truly knew that we were soul mates. Obviously, I was in a sort of relationship so acting upon my reaction at the time was out of the question. So I still admired Him, just from a distance. Even after I broke off the other relationship, I tried to keep contact. I found myself caught up in another relationship from hell and was forced to drop all contact. He never really left my mind.
Fast forward a few years. I had finally been able to break free of the abusive relationship I was in and was on my own with A. That first night after she went to bed I was sitting in my tiny apartment looking at all the boxes to be unpacked yet. It was then that I thought of Him. I found myself wondering what He might be doing, if He had a girlfriend, or maybe get married? Over the next few days I found myself constantly thinking. I began to wonder if there was a way that I could get back into contact with Him. All those feelings that I felt years prior when we first met came flooding back. Despite having just gotten out of the bad relationship I knew that this was the chance I thought I would never get. I started to contemplate how I would be able to get a hold of Him. Some way, some how I was determined. Sometimes it works out that where there’s a will there’s a way. I was able to get His cell phone number. Nervous as all heck I began to text Him. He was unaware of who I was at first, but I got a picture to Him and He remembered. I won’t get into details about that exchange, but I was very forward and very…. naughty with my virtual advances. I couldn’t deny it…. I wanted Him.
We talked more and worked out that He would come to visit me at my apartment. I lived almost 2 hours away from where He did and it was more difficult for me to pack up because I had A, who was less than a year old at the time. The fact that He was willing to make that trip for me really touched me. That first night that He came down was incredible. I could feel a connection that I knew in my heart was right and was going to last. I felt as though we were made for each other.
For 3 years, we had a distance relationship. I had moved, but only about 30 miles closer to Him. We were still 90 miles apart. Sometimes, that distance felt like we were in separate universes. It was not easy to deal with at times, but I fought hard for it. We waited until after we got married to live together, so our dating relationship was always faced with distance.
So getting to the quote at the head of my post, “All my soul follows you, love encircles you…” Every time He left or I had to leave His place I felt as though my soul followed Him, my love constantly with Him. Home was not the physical place I stayed, home was truly with Him. Even now that we are married and live in the same house, this still rings true even though more often than not He is only leaving for the day. I have been His for a long time now, but embarking on this journey into D/s has made me more His than ever before, “…and I live in being yours.”