Yesterday was kind of a blah day. My Husband was heading to donate plasma early in the morning. I had a doctor appointment later in the morning. My appointment went well, everything is looking very good (though I still have to have ultrasounds at every appointment now to monitor even though nothing is wrong, just as a precaution due to my issues last time; I don’t mind too much, the images I got yesterday were absolutely incredible). I had taken A to my parents’ on Monday for the week and then the weekend with her aunt and uncle. We have season baseball tickets and had tickets to two games this week. So just the two of us this week, so I had anticipated having a good long talk with Him about everything that’s been building up in my head lately about this D/s dynamic. I had hoped to do it yesterday because of His work schedule. Well, that backfired on me as He ended up being gone just about the entire day until we almost had to leave for the game. We had a wonderful time at the game and when we were on our way home He said that we needed to take a shower right when we got home. I agreed and had intended to talk at least a little bit afterwards. I never made it that far. We went to bed and I deflated and withdrew yet again. He rolled over and went to sleep. I stayed up and cried….and cried…. and cried. I couldn’t stop. It was not a cleansing type of crying either. I did not feel better once the tears dried up. I just simply did not have any more tears left, so it just kind of stopped. I still feel awful even after sleeping a little bit.
My Husband is working until kind of late tonight, but I did send Him an email, but as He is at work and busy He won’t have time to respond more than likely. I felt slightly better just having the courage to send it. Now that I’ve typed it out here I feel a tiny bit better too, not much but the little bit that I could vent relieved a little bit of the pressure in my brain. It has still been a rough day. We have another baseball game tomorrow afternoon and then one of our favorite TV shows starts a new season tomorrow night. There are still a few more days until A comes home on Sunday so we still have “us only” time yet. Hopefully the next few days/nights are better.