Bad night

Yesterday was kind of a blah day. My Husband was heading to donate plasma early in the morning. I had a doctor appointment later in the morning. My appointment went well, everything is looking very good (though I still have to have ultrasounds at every appointment now to monitor even though nothing is wrong, just as a precaution due to my issues last time; I don’t mind too much, the images I got yesterday were absolutely incredible). I had taken A to my parents’ on Monday for the week and then the weekend with her aunt and uncle. We have season baseball tickets and had tickets to two games this week. So just the two of us this week, so I had anticipated having a good long talk with Him about everything that’s been building up in my head lately about this D/s dynamic. I had hoped to do it yesterday because of His work schedule. Well, that backfired on me as He ended up being gone just about the entire day until we almost had to leave for the game. We had a wonderful time at the game and when we were on our way home He said that we needed to take a shower right when we got home. I agreed and had intended to talk at least a little bit afterwards. I never made it that far. We went to bed and I deflated and withdrew yet again. He rolled over and went to sleep. I stayed up and cried….and cried…. and cried. I couldn’t stop. It was not a cleansing type of crying either. I did not feel better once the tears dried up. I just simply did not have any more tears left, so it just kind of stopped. I still feel awful even after sleeping a little bit.

My Husband is working until kind of late tonight, but I did send Him an email, but as He is at work and busy He won’t have time to respond more than likely. I felt slightly better just having the courage to send it. Now that I’ve typed it out here I feel a tiny bit better too, not much but the little bit that I could vent relieved a little bit of the pressure in my brain. It has still been a rough day. We have another baseball game tomorrow afternoon and then one of our favorite TV shows starts a new season tomorrow night. There are still a few more days until A comes home on Sunday so we still have “us only” time yet. Hopefully the next few days/nights are better.

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5 thoughts on “Bad night

  1. :/ I have had days/nights just like that. Seriously, EXACTLY like that. But…I get so frustrated and upset…like…how could He possibly sleep when my world/head is suffocating me!? I think that is the importance of communication. Sorry, not helpful, but I’ve been there…am there. Hugs.

  2. I know that feeling too….the stress builds up like pressure on your brain! The only way to relieve it is to talk to him! I know how hard it is….we have 3 kids and lots of extended family around a lot…but you just have to make time. I know that doesn’t really help either. I think it’s kinda funny, the way our men can sleep right beside us….just pass right out when our hearts are bursting needing to talk! And we just want them to look at us and say….whats up? Or anything really! Just say something! I can say that….it gets better! It’s not perfect….but my Sir, he pays a lot more attention now…and he’s much better at making me spill my guts…when before, I would just shut down. I don’t do that as often now!
    I hope you’re feeling better today!

    • I do feel better today, thank you 😊 I’ve still got the pressure inside myself, but I’m hoping I can relieve that very soon. I am very much a “bottler” and have been my whole life. I just pile everything up inside until I can’t handle it all and it bursts all over the place, and not in a pleasant manner (it’s usually very very angry). This is ironically one of the (many) things that I need to try to explain to Him.

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