Today I had a routine doctor appointment. I actually met with the nurse rather than my OB. They switch off probably to balance out the patients better. However, I don’t mind because I do really like my nurse. Everything is still looking good. My blood pressure is extraordinarily low (102/60) which is good. With A, my blood pressure was consistently sky high so I’m very happy to be seeing it so low this time. The only problem is that I can feel when my blood pressure is this low (my non-pregnant BP is usually slightly high) and I tend to feel quite faint. My belly is measuring almost a week ahead, but at my last ultrasound baby was measuring slightly behind. I was told this was actually fairly common in second pregnancies and beyond.
This baby is also really kicking the crap out of me constantly. I don’t know if she ever sleeps. I am starting to be able to tell which body part is poking, prodding, or rubbing against me. I believe she is still head down so still hoping she stays that way.
On another note…..
While I was writing my post the other day about what my submission means to me I remembered a few posts that I had read that included questions from the “30 days of Submission” (which I believe originated with LunaKM at the Submissive Guide if I’m not mistaken). I thought I would go through the questions and think about how they pertain to me at the moment. Here at the very beginning of my journey I thought it would be interesting to answer them from my point of view now. Then someday I’m hoping that I can come back to them and see how my answers may have changed or not changed as well as see how my relationship has evolved.
So I started thinking about them. I probably won’t post a question a day or put all the questions on here at all (in reading them, some either do not apply to me at all or we just are not there yet). So here is the first question:
Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
I find this question to be intriguing. I have read countless articles and blogs about all of the labels listed above. What I find to be interesting is that each individual may have a different definition of each of these labels. There seems to be a spectrum for each one of them. You could look at two relationships that may define themselves under a certain label, and they are probably very different. What works for one relationship may not work the same for someone else. So that being said, I will answer the question to the best of my ability. This does not mean that I reject ideas from the other labels or reject the other labels as a whole. I am sure that some of the aspects that I hope for can be found in more than one of these categories. I can only speak for myself and my unique circumstances.
The type of submission I strive for falls mostly under the category of Dominant/submissive. At least this would be the best fit label that I would choose for myself. My Husband is the leader of our household, the God-given Dominant role. I just think that this label appeals to me the most, probably due to the root of each word. Dominate and submit. These words resonate in my mind and in my heart; I like these words. Just as my Husband was given the role of head of household, I was given the subordinate role. A role in which I gladly take. However, giving my submission to my Husband is my choice. I choose to go against the “mold” of how the power exchange of a modern marriage is supposed to go. While this may make a lot of women happy, this does not make me feel happy. I am happy to run the household on the day-to-day basis because my Husband trusts me with this charge and as I said in a previous post, He should not have to micro-manage every little thing in our house. (On a side note, if He were to suddenly feel like He needed to micro-manage I would not argue with Him on that though).
I realize that some of these things may have been stated in my previous post but for the sake of answering the question fully and thoughtfully I included some of the same thoughts. So I do apologize for that.